Turn Your Gaze

Where you do turn when your heart needs encouragement? For so many of us, when we feel down we tend to turn to something. Whether that is texting a friend, or binge a Netflix show, or going on an online shopping spree. While it is often a good thing to turn to another person for encouragement, it is easy to become dependent on a person or thing instead of learning to deeply depend on Christ for the satisfaction our souls desperately need.

 I was reminded of this when I woke up today. From the moment I opened my eyes I felt deeply discouraged. There were some things that were just weighing me down. I just felt burdened. I grabbed my Bible and opened to Psalm 73. While this has always been one of my favorite Psalms,it was the reminder my heart needed today.

 The Psalm opens  talking about how he (the Psalmist) almost stumbled because he began looking around him and became distraught looking at the lives the wicked were living. To him, it seemed like they had it easy. They mocked God and despite that, their material wealth continued to increase. He went on to say in verse 13, "Did I purify my heart and wash my hands in innocence for nothing?" He had taken his eyes off of the Lord and began to focus on what was going on around him. He didn't understand why the wicked seemed to have it so easy and despite his heart to please the Lord, it seemed like things were so difficult for him. But where did the Psalmist turn when his heart so desperately needed encouragement and a change in perspective?

 He tells us in verses 16-17 "When I tried to understand all this, it seemed hopeless until I entered God's sanctuary. Then I understood their destiny." Instead of continuing to look around him, he set his gaze upward. This changed his entire perspective. The feelings of discouragement and confusion and even the feelings of envy faded away as he was reminded Who is truly in control. I find the same is true for me. I can choose to look around me, at my circumstances, struggles and burdens, or I can choose to gaze upon Christ. When I choose to look around it leads me to despair, discouragement, depression, anxiety, etc. BUT, when I choose to set my gaze on Christ, it leads me to peace, just knowing that He is in control and that He is holding me. My circumstances may not change but I know my God is strong. 

I remind myself of Who my God is. He is faithful. He is strong. He is with me, ALWAYS with me. He is holding me. He is my strength and my refuge. He is my provider. He is my shepherd. He cares for me. He loves me. And most of all, He is my good Father who wants me to come to Him when I am feeling burdened. 

What burdens do you need to cast on your Heavenly Father today? Friend, He cares for you. You weren't meant to live this life alone. Cry out to Him. He longs to comfort you and He knows what you need, even better than you do. Will you turn your gaze to Him today? 

Sleepless Nights

The clock read 3:29 am as I sat in the dark nursery rocking my two week old baby boy Gideon. The rest of the world was sleeping but there I was, awake. Desperate. Tears streaming down my face. Never had I felt so alone. So isolated. So exhausted. I told myself I just had to make it until morning when my husband would relieve me of my duties. While I sat there frantically trying to persuade my screaming baby to finally give in to the sleep that I craved more than anything, I heard this Psalm come across my audio Bible:

"I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning. More than watchmen for the morning."

Psalm 130:6

It hit me right between the eyes. A Psalm I'd read dozens of times came alive to me that night. I had never longed to see the sun rise as much as I did when I was a new mom. I had never felt so exhausted, I felt that bone tired feeling in the way I did during those first few weeks of motherhood. That night I realized that the longing I felt for the morning to come, for sleep and rest, should be the same hunger and desperation my soul has to know my Maker. The Psalmist said it best when he said,

"As a deer longs for flowing streams, so I long for you, God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come and appear before God?"

Psalm 42:1-2

From that point on, when I felt those intense emotions and longings for sleep I used them as a springboard to pray. I asked the Lord to give me those same intense desires to know Him and to know His Word.

Through that season of sleeplessness, the Lord really began to show me that everything He allows me to walk through has a purpose and that purpose is to know Him better, deeper. He wants me to know Him and to know His heart. His love for me is greater than I will ever know. Everything He allows into my life is a demonstration of that love. However hard, however painful, He wants me to come to Him, to long for Him. Because (get this!) He longs for me. He wants my heart.

Friend, what circumstance has the Lord placed in your life to show you Himself? It might seem small and insignificant or it might be the biggest trial you have ever faced. For me it was the normalcy of life with a newborn. Whatever it is, please take it to the Lord right now. Ask Him to give you a new perspective on your situation and to help you to grow in your affections toward Him through it. You see, He has a purpose in everything. Even sleepless nights.